If you know TV talk show host Bill Maher, you know his “New Rule” segment in which he pokes fun at whatever issue has caught his attention.
I’ve been known to declare “New Rule” around the house, too, though usually not at someone else’s expense.
For instance. Living here in Northern Ontario means vegetable gardening is a gamble. For the first few years, I faithfully planted tomatoes. Harvest was fair to poor to downright nil. Last year I didn’t even bother. Of course, it was warmer than normal last year. We would have had a bumper crop. New Rule #1 – always plant tomatoes – hope for the best, expect the worst.
As I said, my rules usually don’t poke fun, but today I’ll make an exception. Or two.
New Rule #2 – keep folding chairs in the car. You never know when the urge to have a picnic will strike. Reiner used to turn up his nose at the idea of dining al fresco. But once he discovered how pleasant it is to sit and enjoy a pretty view, he became a dedicated outdoor diner. Since, in his opinion, very few stopping places offer a seat, he bought two chairs with swivel tables. (He has his limits – he won’t eat while perched on a rock, or on the ground, and never without a surface upon which to place his cup and plate.) Of course, the chairs have never been in the car when we needed them, because one of his rules states that the car shall be cleaned out after every trip.
Speaking of limits, hubby has none when it comes to the pursuit of minerals. He and a friend just returned from the eastern shore of Lake Superior – he described his trip to one particular site as “interesting.” My hubby. A man of few words.
According to his collecting buddy, the trip should have ended very, very badly.
You see, when the map didn’t take him to the correct spot, rather than retrace his steps, he decided the best way to his destination was to go cross country. Very rugged country. Some would say impassable without the correct gear. Massive, moss-covered boulders; towering trees; deep, steep crevasses. “Jurassic Park” is how Reiner described the terrain.
New Rule #3 – No scampering down 100-foot canyons not matter how badly you want that mineral specimen. Sure, sure, the views are spectacular. But stay on the $%#@ trail!