The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Judgement Call

OFF WITH HIS HEAD

Divorce or not?

You tell me: He said, “It needs ketchup.”

***   ***   ***

This post is brought to you by my fellow Canadian blogging buddy Linda Gill and her weekly challenge, One Liner Wednesday. After a day wherein I slaved over a hot stove and created a delicious meal, taking into account his assorted dietary restrictions (sensitivity to garlic and reduced sodium being two of them) and he said, “It needs ketchup.”

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Categories: Blog Blog Blog, Husband

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45 replies

  1. I feel for you. My husband thinks that ketchup could use some ketchup.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Nothing ever needs ketchup. Well, maybe French Fries, but not always.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is hilarious. My wife has a similar thing for salad dressing. I still say my cooking has nothing to do with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. UH…
    Not my criteria for divorce…
    However, you could always kill him with kindness and pour the ketchup on “it” for him. Sometimes the ketchup bottle gets a lil too generous. Might drown “it” beyond edible. Ketchup bottle moods are often influenced by the cook’s moods, you know, kitchen witchery and all that.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. That and salting your food before you even taste it. WTH??!?!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey, he’s actually communicating on some level. If my husband would have spent any time doing that I might not be divorcing him now… 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I would not advise divorce over something as trivial as ketchup. Mustard though…..

    Liked by 1 person

  8. While I understand your irritation re: ketchup, I would suggest that if the man ate what you made, and that’s his only foible, then cooking classes would be a better remedy for your relationship than divorce. Perhaps if he learns how much effort goes into making a meal, he’ll rethink his ill-timed “ketchup” request.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think we’ve managed to avoid these moments by my wife proactively suggesting or providing a sauce for the meal. That gives me the opportunity to say: “I like it by itself” and be the hero 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My husband used to walk into the kitchen when I was cooking and go “yech” – because I tend to cook one-dish type things. I seriously considered violence quite often – and threatened to give up cooking entirely and let him do it himself. Except I liked my cooking better. I really am not certain man and woman were meant to be together 24/7/365.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh yea. We’ve switched to vegan for a few days a week. Which means I spend way more time in the kitchen chopping and stirring. And then he says something negative. And HE’S the reason we’re trying to eat better.

    Like

    • Exactly! I’m glad you can relate. As I told him, between gritted teeth, I must make do without garlic, salt, and other seasonings because they are off limits for him. So I go to additional lengths to make a dish tasty for both of us.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. About the only thing I’ll do with ketchup is meatloaf – that’s gotta have a ketchup glaze. For anything else, a very coarse grind mustard or a mayo is the sauce of choice.

    For aromatics within the cooking process – I believe every good recipe starts with garlic & onions, so I just shed a tiny tear over your garlic restriction. Such a sad thing 😦

    The Wuzband, however, is an entirely different animal. For him, ketchup is not just a condiment – it’s a way of life, and must be poured in extremely generous quantities over everything. For him, the phrase ‘too much ketchup’ does not compute. And, although ketchup was not the leading cause of our eventual divorce, I’m certain it contributed after the ‘Great Hot Dog Debacle’ in the 90’s.

    shouldn’t have left him alone at the concession stand with MY food

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Even better yet:
    He says, “I don’t like this.”
    She says, “You should. I slave over it all day.”
    He says, “I still don’t like it.”
    She says, “Here I go and try to make something good for you and you don’t like it. What am I supposed to do?”
    He says, “Ask me if I like it.”

    Like

  14. Hm. I’ll admit I’ve been lucky and haven’t been through the request for additional condiments. The tomato sauce (no ketchup here) only comes out for snags and meat pies. (Lordy, how Aussie that sounds. I assure you we consume a variety of cuisines. And nearly all of them without tomato sauce.)

    Like

    • Snags? I’ll have to look that up.
      A friend was telling me about her domestic experiences with condiments – apparently, some of us are “supertasters” = those blessed with too many taste buds. I suppose that means that the opposite would be possible, too. Hence the request for condiments. Ketchup specifically is apparently high in umami, and if you crave THAT particular feature, then you will want it at the table.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I am enjoying reading many of your posts. I wanted to let you know that this one for some reason caused me to laugh hysterically. Maybe being a man it should not have affected me that way, but I love when guys do stupid things and we get to laugh at them.

    Like

  16. Ha,ha. Sounds like my husband. 😀

    Like

  17. I’m thinking at least a trial separation. At least between him and the fridge. 😉

    Like

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