The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Through Thick or Thin(ner): The Forecast

AriesI subscribe to weekly astrology forecasts by Georgia Nicols. She has a quirky approach to the zodiac that appeals and entertains.  I am happy to read that she confirms my plans to improve my health.  That’s the good news. The bad news is that weight gain is in the forecast, too. Though, honestly, that’s a no-brainer given the number of ice cream cones that have passed my lips these last several weeks.

Here is the weekly horoscope for All signs and for my sign, Aries.

First, the bad news:

All Signs

Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system. It is so big you could fit all the other planets inside it, plus three sesame seeds and the heart of a Hollywood producer. In astrology, because it represents good fortune, expansion, and an increase in wealth, it is often referred to as the Great Benefic. It will bring increase in your life, even weight gain. (Horrors!) It is associated with joy, wisdom and social interaction. Depending on where it is moving through your chart, it will give it a nice “boost.” This week, Jupiter moves into Virgo. The last time it was in Virgo was in 2003. The next time it will be in Virgo will be 2027, and again in 2039. It will stay in Virgo until September 2016. This means good news for all of us but in different ways. It will certainly increase stability in the lives of many of us; and hey — stability is a good thing, don’t knock it. Where there’s a will – I want to be in it.

But when you read the fine print…

Aries (March 21-April 19)

As Jupiter changes signs this week, it means good news for your job scene. You will either improve your existing job, or get a better job. Whatever happens, you will like your duties and job conditions more; and your evil boss will be transferred to Transylvania. If you’re retired, it means that whatever you work at, you will achieve greater satisfaction and a sense of fulfilment. In addition, it’s probably the best time in 12 years, for you to have a chance to improve your health because Jupiter will give you physical strength and vitality! The only downside is it can cause you to gain weight because, of course, it increases things, get it? Hopefully, you won’t have to let out another pleat in your shower curtain. (Now that’s baaad.)

There is an additional bonus, if this forecast is accurate. I’ve applied for a job here in town and have been invited for an interview. Now, THAT would be a remarkable outcome, if Georgia is right!

***

Speaking of astrological forecasts, you may recall back in June, Georgia suggested that it was good time for interior decorating. The wall-papering is moving a-pace. If by pace you mean snail’s. But I am not complaining. Reiner spends a couple of hours each day sanding and priming and papering. He’s about a third done. 

 

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Categories: Personal Growth

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64 replies

  1. Maggie–we are on the same wavelength today. I just posted….ladies eating ice cream cones. But, hey! a job! And an interview even–that is awesome news.

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  2. Thanks, Maggie, I’ll be keeping my eye on Jupiter. My son is an Aries, and has been looking for work for some time now. 💕 Hope this pans out.

    And don’t worry about a few pounds…the ice cream was worth it. I had my first frozen custard cone last week in about a decade or so…it was lovely !

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  3. I like this form of astrology. The addition of humor is refreshing. Best of luck with the interview, especially if the reality of the job is something that you truly think you’d like, and as to the dire words of possible weight gain…you have the control so perhaps it simply means that you will be wearing heavier and/or more clothing (maybe in conjunction with this new job??) and thus the “weight gain” rather than real poundage 🙂

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  4. My horoscope always says: “Just who the heck are you. I know who Maggie is. I know who all these other bloggers are. I just can’t figure out who you are. Maybe you just don’t exist.” What do I do?

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  5. I read that this morning too and was unimpressed. I mean, I have enough issues with licorice, chocolate, ice cream, et al without Jupiter coming along and making it all real on my ever-expanding backside.
    Even worse, he’s planning to stick around for a year. Who invited him anyway?!!

    On the other hand, if it means you land a job that makes you happy, I’ll smile and do a happy-dance for you 🙂

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  6. Well I have already achieved the weight gain and the renovation is moving ahead albeit at a modest pace. But hey, I’m Taurus so it may be all bull for me.

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  7. I think this is splendid, since my son (also Aries) is beginning an internship this week 🙂
    I am Sagittarius, as are The Mister and Moo, and we’d like to see an increase in money and chewing gum, Haha!
    Sissy is also an Aries, and she’d like an increase in sleep, cause baby.
    I do hope Jupiter will be kind. I don’t think any of us want increased weight, although the ice cream is certainly yummy!
    So yes, all of us fire but Sassy. Poor Sassy.
    I hope you get and like that new job! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I just went over to her site and read my horoscope! I LOVE it! Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

    No matter what you do, or if you are retired, Jupiter is going to encourage travel in the next 13 months for you – definitely. Keep a go-to bag packed by your door. Not only will Jupiter bring opportunities to travel, it will also bring you opportunities to explore in publishing, the media, medicine, the law and anything to do with higher education. You couldn’t pick a better time to go to school, that’s for sure. You will also be more fascinated with religion, politics and the cultures of foreign countries. You might meet people from other cultures and countries. This is an excellent influence for financial matters; as well as making your surroundings more elegant. You can easily accomplish a great deal that would usually be more difficult to do at other times. (Impressive.)

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  9. P.S. Losing weight is easy. Just eat a little less and exercise a little more. I’ve done it numerous times. I don’t talk about it with anyone, I just do it. I know we’re not all the same in that regard and lots of people need their friends’ support, but that’s my strategy. Just eat 100 calories less and walk one mile every day and that, at the end of the week, is 1/3+ of a pound without any big effort. A pound a month doesn’t sound like much, but I’ve also noticed that momentum builds and soon it’s more. Here’s my story. 🙂

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  10. I love a funny horoscope. Of course, all horoscopes are funny but most of them don’t mean to be. Deliberately funny is good.

    Good luck with the interview. Blow them away with your wit and intelligence!

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  11. Georgia pegged me as gaining this year too. Argh. I’ve lost and gained the same 7 lbs 7 times this year. Aggravating. It doesn’t get easier. i think the “no food after 7pm” is a good rule but a hard one cuz i’m a nibbler. Too bad your NEW JOB is so far from home or you could walk there a few days a week but that’s more than a schlepp. I wish i liked to exercise as much as i like to nosh – but a coffee shop at the other end is motivational, as you know! Miss our walks.

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  12. I hope the job deal works out. My theory on Jupiter is different. Jupiter’s gravity has helped keep the inner planets thin, so I think you’re good all around, unless Lois brings you and ice cream.

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  13. Love it when your stars align. Sort of 😀 your astologer does have a sense of quirky humor and I enjoyed her.

    As for weight gain, Mags, surely you know WHY this is a good thing … Muscle weighs more than fat so as you ‘tone up’, your body will look much more taut, svelte, shapely, hour-glassy but you might weigh the same because of all your womanly muscles.

    You’re welcome. (If I had an ice cream cone emoji , it’d go here ).

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  14. Oh, Maggie, so many directions you have yourself going on….wallpaper coming off, job coming on, trying to take weight off but those evil ice cream cones coming at you from every direction, I don’t know how you keep up with it all. Just be sure on the day of the interview that you’re not sugar-deprived….don’t want you making a wrong turn and showing up at the ice-cream shop instead of the interview offices! Sugar deprivation makes us do strange things!

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  15. My horoscope said I’d be cleaning the cat box today. When do you have to be born to get the good stuff?

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  16. She is so amusing. I swore off horoscopes many years ago but she is clever. I hope you get the job! And an end to the wall papering. And that she is dead wrong about the weight gain.

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    • I’ve been following Georgia ever since she came on the scene. Strictly for entertainment. That, and heads-ups for Mercury Retrograde.
      Thanks for the job/papering/weight gain blessings. I can us all the psychic intervention ya got to give!

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  17. Holy smokes 😉 Good luck with the job interview. Seems the mojo is rising along with Jupiter 🙂
    According to the scope, Jupiter will be at the top of my chart for the next year. This would explain the gravitas I have been feeling that started a few weeks ago. Hoping that parlays into something big and good. Everybody needs a boost. Those Mercury retrogrades take their toll 🙂

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    • Yeah, it’s either mojo or chutzpah, or a combination of both. I am speaking confidently about this gig in order to manifest it out of thin air… or smokey air, as the case might be.

      Brace yourself – the next MR is in T minus 18 days or August 28. If you are a purist and acknowledge the stations only, then circle September 17.

      Duck.
      Cover.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Maybe you’ll get a job on an ice-cream truck!

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  19. You reminded me to visit my favorite horoscope (horror-scope) site, The Onion. It was not very enlightening for Pisces:

    Only minor and mostly cosmetic changes this week.

    Usually they are a bit funnier. Aries for example says:

    “This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you’ll show up Monday to find all the furniture’s gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere outside Gary, IN.”

    Here’s a link to the venerable (venereal?) mock news agency:

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  20. I don’t even want to think about weight gain, Maggie. I’m growing bored with it being an issue in my life and am therefore doing my best to change things. That means I’m hungry even as I’m writing this with an eye to how long it will be until supper. Oh! Since returning, i did have my back room wallpapered professionally. This is one thing BH cannot do and I would make an unholy mess of it. I LOVE it. Such a nice warmth a wallpaper can bring.

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    • I can relate to feeling bored. I can relate to feeling hungry, too – that was the one part of your comment that struck me – Honestly – I felt a visceral (no pun intended) response – I cannot have feelings of hunger! It’s snack time!

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  21. “It is associated with joy, wisdom and social interaction.”
    It sounds very much like you know exactly where your problems are, Maggie, so let your wisdom rule your tummy, with support from your social buddies, and just imagine the coming joy when you start the downward trend. Slow is best, nothing to be gained by being drastic – it never works.

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