The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Building Rome – Week 31 – Setbacks are not Roadblocks

todoBuilding Rome is a weekly mini-challenge hosted by  Bradley Corbett over at Green Embers. The goal is to come up with some small, achievable goals for the week and work toward them. Each week has a theme: this week it’s Marching past setbacks.

How to participate: Make a post with your goals for the week and how well you did with the previous week’s goals! Link back to the challenge page. Visit other people who have linked or commented and cheer them on. 

 

My list of goals for last week:

  1. Walk every day.
  2. Eat home-made food. Eat well when travelling on the weekend.
  3. Meditate daily on the Metta Prayer, focusing especially on the “May you love yourself completely” part.
  4. Feedback: For the upcoming weekend trip… be aware of knee-jerk response to relationship issues.

In the main, if you are counting, only one item was successfully achieved. But it was #4 and that was a big one for me. Overall, I’m happy with week 30.

I walked twice, mowed the lawn once. Bit of a stall on that goal. Since I usually combine the meditation with walking… ditto.

chocolate peanut butter granola bars

Click on thru for the recipe – enter at your own risk. You’ve been warned.

Eating home-made food worked out fine, except I found a recipe that probably shouldn’t have made it from the computer screen to the printer to the kitchen pantry. Because, you know how that works, you make something and then, well, you have to eat it and all.

These No-Bake Vegan Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola Bars are good. And easy to make. And filling. Very handy to have for the road trip. And… we ran out and I need to make more today.

As for eating while travelling on the weekend? We ate very well at the Inukshuk Manor B&B. Super fine. Super full. If you are ever in need of accommodations while travelling to the Haliburton Highlands this is the place to stay. I think, though, that the large order of fries that we ate for dinner Saturday night might not qualify for “eating well”.

As for #4: be aware of knee-jerk response to relationship issues: I had success with this point. As they say, awareness is half the battle when you are trying to deal with or overcome a problem.

Mostly, I was concerned about conversation with my hubby, and our well-established dynamic where he talks and I listen. When I first brought it up a few years ago, he denied it. Since then, he’s come to realize that he does have a habit of monopolizing conversation. On my side of the dynamic, I want to temper the knee-jerk, default anger response when it happens. Not because I think anger is “bad”, or not justified. But because I know he means no harm.

It was funny… I was so much in “observation mode” that I almost felt “removed” if that makes sense. I was present, but distantly so. This buffer helped me to just watch and not react. Or if I did react, it was tempered. On the trip home, I’m happy to report, we managed to have a nice two-way talk and solved several of the world’s problems.

My list of goals for this week:

  1. Walk every day.
  2. Eat home-made food.
  3. Meditate daily on the Metta Prayer, focusing especially on the “May you love yourself completely” part.

I am going to start my week today, Wednesday. I’ve already blown it for Monday and Tuesday as far as walking is concerned. We traveled all day Monday and yesterday was recovery day. So this is me, “marching past setbacks” by resetting the clock. Isn’t it great to have the power to do that?

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Categories: Husband

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34 replies

  1. Vegan chocolate peanut butter granola bars sound perfectly healthy to me 😉

    It sounds like you had a great week notwithstanding the walking part – but I’ve done enough of that for the both of us. I’m happy to share.

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  2. That is really cool you are working on your communication together. I feel this is one of the most important things in any type of relationship, good communication, especially just listening (sounds like he needs some practice in that). Also, that is very much the lovely thing about being able to reset the clock. 😀

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  3. All my goals this week are health related. Sounds as if some of your are too.

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  4. Some goals are ongoing, and you just have to break it into small accomplishable tasks.

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  5. I love “Setbacks are not Roadblocks” I’ve already hung it on my fridge.

    Very simple healthy cookie recipe: 2 over ripe bananas, 1 cup of quick oats, 1/4 cup of anything you want, such as nuts, raisins, etc. Mix it all, put on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 for 15 minutes and they’re done. Makes 16 cookies.

    They are lactose free, gluten free and vegan…and they are good, especially when eaten right out of the oven.

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  6. G’day Maggie,
    Well said, Setbacks are not Roadblocks, this I like.
    We also have the dynamic where he talks and I listen. I think this is a result of retirement, where he lost the companionship of the all his workshop mates. Not an easy hurdle to scramble over at my age hahahaha

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  7. The granola bars sound scrumptious, so I won’t go there. Good luck with your goals this week and glad you conquered number 4. 🙂

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    • Oh, do go there. At least once! (I can hear you say, “Maggie, get thee behind me!”)

      It’s interesting, Christine. When I first set out to write about #4 I had it pegged as a failure. Because of course, there were some snarls and tension. I was holding out for complete bliss, butterflies and sunshine. But the more I thought about it, I realized there was movement in the right direction.

      thanks for your encouragement!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Good luck with your goals! I am trying to eat out less too.

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  9. I’m a vegan so these sound great to me! I guess the “keeps in freezer 6 months” doesn’t really count for anything, huh? “He came to realize that he does have a habit…” Wow, Maggie. I am so impressed the male species is capable of this. Major kudos to you!

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    • I’d like to know who tested the 6 month freezer thing. I have my doubts. I used to store chocolates in the freezer by way of setting up a roadblock to snacking. HA! Nice try.

      Thanks, too, for the feedback on the conversation thing. There were more than a few upsets, I can tell you. I wish, though, that the situation did not require DEFCON Code Red before I was heard. And that’s a criticism of myself as much as it is of him. I, to quote a famous anchorman, escalate quickly.

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  10. This is a very intriguing blog. Yes, awareness is half of it. Especially to knee-jerk responses. I find when I have that it’s because my “little” feelings get hurt because it is someone I care about. It’s easier for me to disregard or be patient when there’s not love. Wow! You made me think.

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    • Thanks – I’m glad you found something here to ponder. Now, you’ve made me think… and I do believe that the same factor applies in my situation.

      When love, or connection, is involved, it hurts when there is a disconnect. I rebel against that. I feel shunned, diminished, unfairly judged and found wanting. And that last bit goes way back. Hence the Pavlovian response today.

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  11. Great to read your positive post. 🙂

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  12. Progress sounds good to me, especially solving the world’s problems. I should consider meditation. I spent most of the week driving to and from hospital and trying to keep the house shipshape for Mrs. Ha. I think I need some Colorado

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  13. Bah, hit post by mistake. I need Colorado Cookies. They contain an extra agreement to help you turn on, tune in etc.

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  14. Agreement = ingredient. iPhone is too small.

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    • Oh, dear Andrew. Thanks for persevering with your posts, iPhone notwithstanding.

      Colorado Cookies. Like the Magic Brownies I vaguely recall…bizz buzz.

      😦 Sorry to hear about the hospital stays! Your note has made me realize that I am not getting your posts in my reader! The last one I saw was the spider. I hope Mrs. Ha returns home soon.

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  15. Maggie, these are great goals! I especially love the Metta prayer. Are you familiar with the Loving-Kindness Meditation? I think they are similar.

    I don’t know what the deal is — I have been following your blog for weeks now and I am not getting notifications of your new posts. 😦

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    • Hi Rose! Regarding the following posts – I noticed just today that some people were no longer in my reader too. WP just recently had an upgrade, so I assume some connections were lost. When possible, I follow blogs by email. It sure plugs up the old inbox, but I’m prepared to deal with that.

      Thanks for your encouragement regarding the goals. Yes, I was taught the Metta Prayer as a loving-kindness meditation. It’s funny, that was about fifteen years ago, and I stopped meditating shortly afterward. It’s only been since I’ve started to blog that I’ve been reintroduced to the merits of practice. Thanks for stopping by!

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  16. “marching past setbacks” by resetting the clock — perfect! You’re in charge of your life; you get to do that. 🙂

    And — thank you for the No-Bake Double Chocolate Peanut Butter Granola Bars recipe. It’s now in my recipe file, just waiting to have the ingredients gathered…. 😉

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    • I know! This resetting the clock thing, it’s a powerful feeling! 🙂

      Oh I hope you like the bars! If you cook like I do, you will no doubt feel free to make some adjustments. For instance, I did not sprinkle the remaining portion of chocolate chips on top. Instead I used dried cranberries. The peanut butter I use is sugar and salt free, and it did not harm the sweetness factor at all, to my taste buds. The author of the recipe speaks truth when she says the batter will be stiff. I broke a spatula! I think I might try re-warming the mix briefly before the final mix.

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  17. I think strategizing to make the system work is a great thing. If re-setting the clock gives you the impetus to tackle your goals, I say go for it. 🙂 I’m very impressed with your observation powers in terms of focusing on relationship dynamic. You’re certainly right about awareness being an important first step. Good luck to you on the continuing journey! 🙂

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  1. BR 31 – It’s a coming! | Green Embers

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