The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

May I Recommend an Excellent Colourist?

“Wow,” she said. “I cannot get over how candid you are! Truly, I am honoured that you found the time to speak with me and to share your compelling story.”

“The pleasure is mine” I assured her. “I appreciate your interest.”

“You are most welcome. Now, let’s see, I think that’s all of the interview questions out of the way. Just a few marketing details and I’ll get out of your hair.”

She turned off the recorder and set it on the table.

“Speaking of hair, may I recommend an excellent colourist?”

“Excuse me?”

What? You Don't Think this Would Suit?

Do these clogs make my feet look big?

“For the photo shoot. I don’t think any of these publicity shots will, um, appeal to your readers, do you?”

“…?”

“Oh, I know! I’ll make an appointment for you with my personal esthetician! Henri can do amazing things with make-up! AND he can whip those funky eyebrows of yours into shape. You don’t mind, do you?”

Three simple questions. Why couldn’t she ask tough questions like “How did you feel when your first husband left you for another woman?” or “What was it like to be called at the last minute to fill in for an ailing leading lady?”

Now I felt vulnerable. More exposed than if an army of Pulitzer winning journalists was camped on my doorstep.

Hello fame. Hello fortune. Goodbye comfort, serenity, and solitude.

Gulp.

 

 

 

 

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Categories: Blog Blog Blog, Personal Growth

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33 replies

  1. Love it, Maggie: most entertaining. Great photo too! xxx

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  2. A less kind person (me) might have replied, “Oh! And I have the most wooooonderful plastic surgeon for you!”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I love the picture and blue clogs … but did I miss something along the way? Publicity shots? Fame? Fortune? I’m all excited now … there’s more?! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re a scream, Maggie ! 😀 Why not use this one for your gravatar …?

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  5. Did not know you are so cute! And so is the story!

    When I was job-hunting at age 35, at the top of my game in the top field, I was told no one would hire me unless I got plastic surgery and shortened my resume to seem ten years younger. This, when men my age and older with my credentials were pulling in multiple top-dollar offers. So your story really spoke to me!

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    • What kind of world is this? Wait, I know the answer to that and it dismays me to no end. It reminds me of a piece I read in Readers’ Digest a million years ago. A bank had a “public image” policy whereby pregnant women were sent on maternity leave based on this test: a line was drawn parallel and close to a wall. If the mother-to-be stood with her toes on the line and her baby bump touched the wall, she was no longer allowed to work at the bank. Of course, this was deemed imperative by the paunches in head office.

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  6. you so make me laugh–what a hoot this was! I loved it.

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  7. I wish I had funky eyebrows to tame. Mine are disappearing with age, and I barely had any when I was young! :/ puts glasses on to lend the impression of eyebrows

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  8. Maggie – – that picture sure has lotsa sole. (seriously, it’s adorable!) And I also thought – -what the heck did I miss in her life between falling down and eating peas? So I missed the writing prompt too, I guess. But I always love your sideways and I would encourage you to go completely inside-out and upside down too.

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  9. Love it Maggie! maybe we have to remember how lucky we are not to be famous! 😀

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  10. I agree with Barbara and with your comment to her! Love it! Cute photo, too! Don’t change a THING! 😊

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  11. Excuse me?! I agree with Steve, I’d have made mincemeat out of her! x

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  12. Great photo! I love the blend of generosity and insult in the stylist’s questions! I guess you need thick skin to be famous ;-D

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  13. I get comments such as “Should you be doing that at your age?” . I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t want to and 76 isn’t too old to do anything. Enjoyed your Daily Prompt challenge.

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Trackbacks

  1. Daily Prompt: Trick Questions – I was being interviewed? | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
  2. What are the three questions you wouldn’t want a Pulitzer-winning reporter to ask? | Annie's Blog
  3. Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies. | chey being

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