The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Recharging the Cell Phone

high-voltage-sign

Caution High Voltage

I was careless the other day when I plugged in my cell phone to recharge. My hands were wet from washing dishes, I was not paying close attention, and when I plugged in the charger, my fingers were between the plug and the receptacle. There was a brief jolt, a slight sizzle and the cell phone chirped two or three times. The pain was “hard”, if that makes sense. It ran partway up my arm. Fortunately, I was able to break contact. It left me feeling breathless, tight in the chest.

I thought about writing here, Hey! Look, I was almost electrocuted! What a dim-bulb! I thought better of it – too trivial, not to mention embarrassing.

Today’s daily prompt about soul mates made me change my mind.

Well then, let’s discuss soul mates.

Once, yes, I held out for the spark, for the recognition of reciprocated desire. And once I thought I had found it. Turns out the sparks were actually danger signs. Red flags, if you like, of the concealed rage of a wounded psyche. My relationship to The One was the most emotional, most damaging, most enriching relationship of my life. We laughed,we talked, we were able to connect at a heart level unlike any relationship I have encountered before or since. I miss that sometimes. For all of the difficulties, and they were legion, we had a very strong connection.

Imagine holding a live wire. The sparks fly, as much as you want to let go, you cannot. You are bonded to the wire by elemental forces. In some cases, the damage is lethal, in others, you manage to break free, feeling breathless, hurt, and ashamed for your carelessness.

I have come to realize that what I miss about my relationship with The One was the roller-coaster ride. Which is an odd image for me to use since I do not care for theme parks and the terror-inducing rides. But roller-coaster is an apt description. If only the slow, delightful climb to the dizzying apex could be separated from the plummet that follows.

Is it just me? No, I know it’s not.Judging by what my other blogger buddies have written, I know that some of these daily prompts leave us feeling rather “cold”. I’d say that the prompts are lame and uninspired, but then that would be judgmental and rude.

Maybe we have more miles recorded on the old pedometer. Maybe cynicism has replaced dreamy longing. Maybe we’ve finally outgrown Disney, Harlequin, Hollywood.

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Categories: Personal Growth

Tags: , , , , ,

41 replies

  1. In relation to the charging incident – oh my goodness, glad you’re alright!?

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  2. Hee, hee, yes, Lydia, I’m fine, thanks. It was one of those teaching moments, for me to pay attention!

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  3. Beautifully written and so true, Maggie: we become chemically addicted to the adrenaline rush in such relationships, don’t we? We long and loathe with equal intensity. The near-electrocution sounds horrible; I am so glad you are still here to tell the tale.xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been shocked while plugging up a flat iron while in a half awake state. Maybe you learned a lesson, but I am obviously unteachable when it comes to plugging things into a socket!

    I think you are right when it comes to soul mates and relationships being addictive. I love the roller coaster analogy. 🙂

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  5. This was written so beautifully! And the metaphor is all too apt. Those super-alive, super-charged relationships can be so exhilarating and have that potential for damage. I used to not like the word “contentment.” I wanted a roller coaster! But now I love the word, and the life, most of the time of contentment. And moments of deep, peaceful happiness. I LOVED this blog post!!

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  6. So true and well-written…roller coasters are so unforgettable and like you say “most emotional, most damaging”… but it’s always a relief to get off…

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  7. Yeoww!! Who would have thought that electricity could actually be so dangerous!

    Great post, especially after such a shocking introduction…

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    • Oh you made me giggle, thank you! I have to tell you, the most unpleasant aspect of this post was looking for an appropriate picture. You can imagine what a Google Photo search would reveal using key word “electrocution”. Ick.

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  8. I think blogging is doing you the world of good ! – you’re able to communicate stuff that you never thought would ever get out, eh ? Next thing is the book !

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    • Thank you, Margaret Rose! You nailed it: this is stuff that has been piling up for decades. The prompts, as “lame” as I think they are, open the flood gates. I have to admit entertaining the thought of a book. But there’s a Hollywood element to that fantasy, and I am wary of falling for the “rose-covered stone cottage on the edge of a meadow” dream that I think many writers fall for. This writer falls for it, at any rate. I appreciate that you wrote. It means a lot to me.

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  9. Wow, Maggie, just wow. First, glad you’re ok. Did something similar when I was a kid, flipped a light switch with wet hands. Yeah, that pain is hard.

    Your description of The One is word by word like that of The Rebound that I dated right after my divorce. The way up is really good: fun, exciting, romantic, thrilling. The way down is devastating: walking on eggshells, watching every word you say, watching everything you do.

    “Imagine holding a live wire. The sparks fly, as much as you want to let go, you cannot.” Pure genius. It’s exactly what those kinds of relationships are like.

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    • Thank you, Jessica. You know on several levels what I mean, then! I’d be interested to know more about your Rebound, if and when you are ready to write about it.
      This is one of those posts that I am slightly embarrassed to have published on Facebook. It is mostly my male acquaintances that are commenting. All good-natured ribbing, but still.

      Liked by 1 person

      • “It is mostly my male acquaintances that are commenting. All good-natured ribbing, but still.” I give a half-hearted half-scowl in their general direction. Or maybe I just waggle my eyebrows at them… in a good natured way! Leave it to the men to focus on the electrocution part and ignore the emotional part (j/k). Thank goodness you have WP friends! 🙂

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        • Thank goodness indeed!

          But you know what? Something has changed with FB (so what else is new?) . When I post from WP to FB now, the display on FB is different than it was a week ago – there is no WP icon, it populates as a status or other post to my home page. The readers on FB get the same snippet as they do here on WP. The guys didn’t read the whole story at all. My stats show not one referrer from FB yesterday. What the?

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  10. Maggie, you have described your feeling so well. I recognise that dangerous ‘love’ of my past, and the excitement that it brought. It was that ‘never a dull moment’ and the surprises, I am happy to do without. Probably I learnt a lot from it. Somehow, I am grateful for a more subdued existence now.
    Not without love and humour though. I think the prompts have enticed you to draw on those life experiences and your skill as a writer bring that electricity back into focus.

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    • Thank you Barbara. I’m grateful for your feedback. I would imagine that you couldn’t help but learn from those moments, as unwelcome as they were.
      I’ve been rereading the post and am conflicted. I feel that the last two paragraphs need work, if not deleting altogether. But for now, they’ll stay. Like me, this post is a work in progress.

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  11. Yes, maybe all of the above. It’s most interesting because all the stuff I once (in my youthful ignorance) considered boring – smart, kind, emotionally available,responsible, adult partner, are exactly what I want now. Relationships are confusing to say nothing of…soul mates!

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    • Hi Wendy! Thanks for reading and your thoughtful comment. I’m really undecided what to say about soul mates in terms of romantic partnerships. I do know that when friends tell me that they are holding out for the guy or gal who sparks the chemistry, who makes their heart race, I have to bite my tongue. I’m happy for boring these days.

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