I was careless the other day when I plugged in my cell phone to recharge. My hands were wet from washing dishes, I was not paying close attention, and when I plugged in the charger, my fingers were between the plug and the receptacle. There was a brief jolt, a slight sizzle and the cell phone chirped two or three times. The pain was “hard”, if that makes sense. It ran partway up my arm. Fortunately, I was able to break contact. It left me feeling breathless, tight in the chest.
I thought about writing here, Hey! Look, I was almost electrocuted! What a dim-bulb! I thought better of it – too trivial, not to mention embarrassing.
Today’s daily prompt about soul mates made me change my mind.
Well then, let’s discuss soul mates.
Once, yes, I held out for the spark, for the recognition of reciprocated desire. And once I thought I had found it. Turns out the sparks were actually danger signs. Red flags, if you like, of the concealed rage of a wounded psyche. My relationship to The One was the most emotional, most damaging, most enriching relationship of my life. We laughed,we talked, we were able to connect at a heart level unlike any relationship I have encountered before or since. I miss that sometimes. For all of the difficulties, and they were legion, we had a very strong connection.
Imagine holding a live wire. The sparks fly, as much as you want to let go, you cannot. You are bonded to the wire by elemental forces. In some cases, the damage is lethal, in others, you manage to break free, feeling breathless, hurt, and ashamed for your carelessness.
I have come to realize that what I miss about my relationship with The One was the roller-coaster ride. Which is an odd image for me to use since I do not care for theme parks and the terror-inducing rides. But roller-coaster is an apt description. If only the slow, delightful climb to the dizzying apex could be separated from the plummet that follows.
Is it just me? No, I know it’s not.Judging by what my other blogger buddies have written, I know that some of these daily prompts leave us feeling rather “cold”. I’d say that the prompts are lame and uninspired, but then that would be judgmental and rude.
Maybe we have more miles recorded on the old pedometer. Maybe cynicism has replaced dreamy longing. Maybe we’ve finally outgrown Disney, Harlequin, Hollywood.
Categories: Personal Growth
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