As usual, I will sidestep the daily prompt that asks have I ever suffered from Imposter Syndrome?
Short answer: nope.
I can say, however, that I have felt duped by people. Not necessarily that there was intent to lead me astray, but that was the net result.
Very early in my learning career, which was at home, school, and church, I understood the need to get it right. I also understood that parents, teachers, and ministers had already got it right and I could trust them. It took me a very long time to unlearn that second bit. A very, very long time. I still get caught.
I posted a comment last night on Margaret Rose’s blog in regards to the mediocrity around us, especially in places of higher authority.
The cream may rise to the top, but so does the scum.
It’s a lesson I must learn over and over.
It takes two, doesn’t it?
The first party will boldly go, will damn the torpedoes, and act with confidence in order to gain confidence.
The second party in the equation might be able to discern the hint of bravado, might detect the little white lies and question or challenge the first. At the very least, the second party might reserve judgement until further research reveals the truth or falsehood in first’s story.
Not me. My default position was to accept the other’s story, no questions asked. That is not a healthy place to be, especially when it comes to the big decisions like “Yes, I will marry you.”
I learned a great deal during my recovery work after my second marriage ended. I learned about boundaries. More specifically, I learned that I had boundaries in the first place and that we have a built-in early warning system that sets up red flags when those boundaries are compromised. In hindsight, I saw how many of those red flags I chose to ignore.
Yes, I have been led astray, however, any betrayal was my own.
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Inspired by the Daily Prompt
Categories: Personal Growth
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