How has my love changed over time? Oh boy, that’s a prompt worthy of a volume and a half. Let’s see if I can encapsulate my story into a 500-word post.
To recap here is the list of my ex’s
The Good Ol’ Boy
I married my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him, so that was love, right? I was 20, mom was eager to have me wed and on my own. Function over form. The Cowboy and I were both too damn young.
Good Ol’ Boy was a rebound affair that lasted two years. He was twenty years older than I and had four children. His eldest was 20, I was 25. Everybody knew him, everybody loved him. We were never alone, there was always a crowd. I brought it to an end after we took a paddle boat ride during which we had nothing to say to each other.
My relationship with The Performer has the distinction of being the longest running, thus far. Ours was a thirteen year on-again off-again common law arrangement . He was a musician and actor. I was the “responsible one” who kept the bills paid. He wanted to surround himself with disciples, I wanted peace and quiet and companionship.
The One. The name implies “he in whom all prayers are answered”, the heart’s desire, soul mate. Our connection was immediate, intense. I met him in June and we were married in November that year, in spite of numerous red flags. The range of our emotional life together was breathtaking. We shared so much including the desire to figure it out, to get it right. We had wonderful long conversations.
He was a poet at heart, and a tease. We watched Moonstruck. Afterward, he would sing “That’s Amore”, but instead of
In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here’s what they say …
… he’d sing, “In Napanee” – which to those of you who are not familiar with local geography, is an eastern Ontario community. I know. It’s one of those “you had to be there” things.
Thing is, I can never hear that song without feeling a pang.
It was he who “pulled the trigger” and asked for a divorce.
The Rebound. Enough said. Except… this was one of those relationships that only in hindsight can you see that it was a necessary step that took you from before to after.
Reiner. I got it right, this time, but I think luck has more to do with our pairing than judicious selection. Reiner is my steadfast, industrious companion. He who loves me warts and all and wants to be with me for who I am. He who after an argument will be as calm and loving as before. We share common values and preferences. He can sing the lyrics to “That’s Amore” but when I sing “Napanee”, he doesn’t get it. Nor should he.
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This prompt inspired by
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