The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

When the Moon

How has my love changed over time? Oh boy, that’s a prompt worthy of a volume and a half. Let’s see if I can encapsulate my story into a 500-word post.

To recap here is the list of my ex’s

The Cowboy
The Good Ol’ Boy
The Performer
The One
The Rebound

I married my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him, so that was love, right? I was 20, mom was eager to have me wed and on my own. Function over form. The Cowboy and I were both too damn young.

Good Ol’ Boy was a rebound affair that lasted two years. He was twenty years older than I and had four children. His eldest was 20, I was 25. Everybody knew him, everybody loved him. We were never alone, there was always a crowd. I brought it to an end after we took a paddle boat ride during which we had nothing to say to each other.

My relationship with The Performer has the distinction of being the longest running, thus far. Ours was a thirteen year on-again off-again common law arrangement . He was a musician and actor. I was the “responsible one” who kept the bills paid. He wanted to surround himself with disciples, I wanted peace and quiet and companionship.

The One. The name implies “he in whom all prayers are answered”, the heart’s desire, soul mate. Our connection was immediate, intense. I met him in June and we were married in November that year, in spite of numerous red flags. The range of our emotional life together was breathtaking. We shared so much including the desire to figure it out, to get it right. We had wonderful long conversations.

He was a poet at heart, and a tease. We watched Moonstruck. Afterward, he would sing “That’s Amore”, but instead of

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here’s what they say …

… he’d sing, “In Napanee” – which to those of you who are not familiar with local geography, is an eastern Ontario community. I know.  It’s one of those “you had to be there” things.

Thing is, I can never hear that song without feeling a pang.

It was he who “pulled the trigger” and asked for a divorce.

The Rebound. Enough said. Except… this was one of those relationships that only in hindsight can you see that it was a necessary step that took you from before to after.

Reiner. I got it right, this time, but I think luck has more to do with our pairing than judicious selection. Reiner is my steadfast, industrious companion. He who loves me warts and all and wants to be with me for who I am. He who after an argument will be as calm and loving as before. We share common values and preferences. He can sing the lyrics to “That’s Amore” but when I sing “Napanee”, he doesn’t get it. Nor should he.

***   ***   ***   ***   ***   ***

This prompt inspired by

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/daily-prompt-thats-amore/

 

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Categories: Daily Post, Husband

Tags: , , ,

35 replies

  1. Really enjoyed the opportunity for a glimpse at the road you have walked 🙂

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  2. Lovely and touching, Maggie. Thank you for sharing them with us! xxx

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  3. Maggie, your writing always brings me into the moment.

    Loved the little walk through relationship time

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  4. As I gather from this story the road ahead of me is full of adventures. Am I right when I say that even though the relationships ended they were necessary for you to grow as a person in many different ways?
    By the way, I looked up the song, and it’s great. Thanks.

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    • Arthur! I’m so pleased that you stopped by! With each relationship I learned something so that when the next one came along, I was better prepared. Not fully prepared, mind you. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to claim, “Lessons learned! Give me a cap and gown and let’s get this graduation ceremony over with, already!”

      I had every intention of adding a link to the YouTube video, but I got caught up in some technical glitches. I first heard That’s Amore on my mom and dad’s record player. It was sung by Dean Martin. The tune was also featured in the movie Moonstruck.

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      • Dear Maggie,

        When I started writing a blog I didn’t know what to expect. Now I have found people like you and Miss Menopause (or you found me) who write about life, the universe and everything and teach lessons that I would haver never learnt at school. I am the one who should be thankful. You’re teaching me so many things, but sometimes I just don’t know whether I am picking up the right messages :D.
        Even now, in your reaction I have the feeling you’re implicitly teaching me something like,’ always leave room to learn’ or something like ‘we’re not ill, but we can always become better’.
        The song is great. I think I’m going to let the love of my current life listen to it, too. I think it’s a very romantic song and it fits the blog.I really enjoyed reading it and I hope to be reading more of you.
        Kindest of regards,

        Arthur

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  5. Bless you, Arthur. I am very touched by what you write.

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  6. Dear Maggie, What a lot you have disclosed in this thumbnail sketch. It’s perfect. I don’t know whether mine would be quite so concise, but I agree, so much is learnt on the way. Is the moon a photo of yours? It is magnificent.
    May your life continue to be satisfying! Barbara

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    • Thank you, Barbara! I will make a notation on the blog to let people know that if you click on the photo, it will take you to a website with free HD wallpapers. I can only dream of being a photographer of this calibre!

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  7. That was lovely, Maggie. Thank you for giving us a snippet of the road you have traveled. There’s always a rebound after divorce, isn’t there? There kind of has to be, I think. Mine was a pathological liar but very, very pretty and fun. I think the life lived best is the one that’s full of mistakes we can look back on and laugh about. Yes?

    🙂

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    • Thank you. I’m glad that you can relate. Ah yes, mistakes and laughter. Great combo, that, as long as you can remain reasonably upright! When I read short stories by writers like Alice Munro, I always identify with the crazy worldly Aunt who wears shabby but chic clothes and who’s had multiple escapades. I don’t do “chic” but the rest fits.

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  8. Wonderful. Your love life sounds as colorful as my husband’s. I was #4 for the first ten years of our marriage. Then I became # last. I love Moonstruck. So much crazy energy. I’m glad you have found your gem. 🙂

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  9. I love your writing style. What a long road to find that “one”. Makes it all the sweeter, doesn’t it?

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