The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Oscar – a Multiple Choice Quiz

Waiting for the Vet

Oscar waiting for the vet.

Here’s a quiz about Oscar.

Now, I know you haven’t been formally introduced to him yet. He’s that cat who came to fill a gap in our lives.  About two years ago, after our 19 year-old Joey died.

I think you’ll do just fine on this quiz. Trust me, I’ve made it easy.

1. Your cat is sick. A urinary tract infection. What do you do?

  • a) Call the vet

(See? Told you it was easy)

2. You say a prayer of thanks to the heavens above for the mobile vet who, in spite of the fact that this is her day off and in spite of the fact that she is sick as, you should excuse the expression, a dog, gets to your house as soon as possible. She asks that you sequester the cat in the bathroom. It’s a small enough space and he has no place to run.

  • a) She’s correct, he has no place to run.
  • b) She would be correct if it weren’t for the cubby hole. Yes, that cubby hole behind the bathtub enclosure. The one that you asked hubby to cover, but he said, nah, Oscar won’t get stuck.

3. Well, shit.

The vet leaves you with a list of instructions and medications. She figures he’ll come out after she leaves. It’s now 10:30 in the morning. How long does Oscar stay in hiding?

  • a) He comes out the minute the vet leaves the house.
  • b) You wonder if he actually came out when you weren’t watching and is hiding elsewhere in the house. The basement is a favourite spot. You think this around 3:00 in the afternoon.
  • c) You hear scratching noises in the ceiling directly below the bathtub. It’s now 5:00 PM.
  • d) 6:30 in the evening. After your hubby, the love of Oscar’s life, comes home.

4. You weep with relief that Oscar is OK. Not only that, you are relieved that you didn’t have to resort to sawing the metal bathtub apart so he could get out. The cat makes strange. Your hubby says, “Looks like you’re on Oscar’s shit list now.”

  • a) You laugh and laugh and laugh. Because not only is this the funniest thing you’ve heard in such a long time, you simply cannot help but agree. You think, “Oh aren’t you so clever, dear husband of mine.”
  • b) You give your hubby the hairy eyeball and say, “That’s not funny and it is not helpful!”

5. You take out the vet’s list of things to do. And do them. They are

  • a) Take a urine sample while the cat is peeing
  • b) Weigh him so you know how much antibiotic to administer
  • c) Administer antibiotic
  • d) Administer pain meds
  • e) Feed him the new food that is supposed to be good for urinary crystals. He promptly rejects it. Pooey.
  • f) Try to get him back in the house after he dodges between your legs. Do it quickly since it’s minus 20 degrees C with the windchill
  • g) All of the above

6. Hubby announces that he thinks it would be a good idea to cover the cubby hole behind the bathtub. You do which of the following:

  • a) Without a trace of sarcasm or irony you say, “Darling! What a great idea.”
  • b) You look him in the eye. You bite your tongue. You wait a beat. Then you say, “Yeah, good idea.”

Please submit your answers at your leisure. Or not. But wish us luck? The vet is coming today for round two. This time, I hope, it will be better!

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Categories: Blog Blog Blog, Husband

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22 replies

  1. What a smart cat Oscar is! Hiding in the cubby hole behind the tub. Let the cat dictate health and house issues. No more worries, the opening will now be repaired by the homo erectus specimen of the house. Works every time.

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  2. Hey Missy! Thanks for your comments. Yup, the cat be the one with the brains. He knows food and warm and naps. What else is there? Besides a fully functioning urinary tract, that is. Which will be the case shortly!

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  3. Oh my goodness! What an ordeal. This reminded me of when our dear little kitty went missing while my hubby was breaking in to our house 45 minutes away from the hospital I was in about to give birth. Poor hubby knew he could not show up without knowing where his furry nibs was but also did not want to miss the birth of our wee one! Gotta love those felines and their tricky yet lovable ways. All the best to you guys and Oscar. Hope the second round is better 🙂

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  4. Gosh, Maggie, you bring back fond memories. Can’t have pets any more, but my grandsons and I visit the local pet shop once a week and have a chat to Jack the cockatoo.

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  5. I am not a cat person–I tell my good friend’s cat “You know I don’t like you.” every time he runs up to me and I pet him–but very pleased your kitty story had a happy ending!.

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  6. You’re really very good with your feller. Me, I’d probably punch him in the eye …

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