Or, at the risk of bringing to mind scatological images, “Why I Dump.”
In another couple of weeks I will celebrate my two-month anniversary here on WordPress. So, yeah, yay me. But here’s the thing. I’m starting to become self-conscious about my writing. I suppose that comes with the territory. Especially if you spill your guts, make yourself vulnerable. Which I’ve done, sort of. In a muted kind of way. On tip-toe. I haven’t gone anywhere nearly as deep as many of the writers that I follow. And I’m here today to work out why that is.
My reason for starting this blog is to write. Good. Consider the goal achieved.
Now I aim to improve my writing. I aspire to write as well as, or at least a fraction as well as some of those I follow. Yet I intend to honour my style and my voice. Which will vary, depending on the mood, and that’s fine.
My topics certainly do vary. They range from essays from my school work, informative bits about my mineral hobby, and mostly memoir-type vignettes from the distant past. Why not the recent past?
I’d like my work to be fuller, meatier. To make it more personal. More about who I am now, as an “adult”. That means I need to be more generous. If I take my lead from some of my favourites, Melissa, Alienora, Matt, and Trey, or newly found Michelle, I must learn to gather my thoughts, digest them, and spill my guts.
Those of you who know me outside of WordPress know that I’ve mastered “spew”. I am only too familiar with the need to purge, to eliminate, to get it out of my system. To dump, as it were, via the written word. So why not here on my blog?
A couple of reasons come to mind. Of course, there is the vulnerability, the risk, the exposure, the performance anxiety nightmare of finding yourself on stage with no pants on. I think I’m good with that. (Did I just write that?) Seriously, though, just ask any of my correspondents cited above. I am not shy about sharing my stuff.
But what about my supporting cast? The people I’ve worked with, the people I play with, my brothers and their family? My leading men? Ay, there’s the rub.
To wit, when the daily prompt asked if I’ve ever been dumped, I was stymied. I was caught between,
“Boy, could I tell you about dumpee/dumper! Gimme that keyboard!”
“But what about the people who were involved? I’m not ready for them to read about it here.”
I came across a blog this morning that had a series of password-protected posts. I suppose that’s one answer, but… Yeah, there’s a “but.” I want to be read. To be heard.
This will remain unanswered for the moment. If you have any suggestions I’d really appreciated hearing from you.
In the meantime, to actually fulfill my daily prompt requirements and to dip my toe into the deep dark cold:
- The Cowboy – I dumped
- The Good Ol’ Boy – I dumped
- The Performer – I dumped, but it was more or less mutual
- The One – I was dumped, but I didn’t argue
- The Rebound – I dumped, but again, it was not contested
Number one or two may not have seen it coming. From that point, yeah, no surprises.
Artwork Credit http://www.orexgallery.co.nz/
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