AGAIN with the empty toilet paper roll!
I know that my husband means no ill will toward me. AND I know that it’s not laziness: he is one of the most industrious people I know. So why is it, that when I reach to the toilet paper dispenser and find it empty my default impulse is “OFF WITH HIS HEAD”?
Ah yes, just another day in normal married life.
After I composed myself, I was invited to compose a post that teaches readers how to do something you know and/or love to do. Without further ado, I invite you to learn:
How to Change the Loo Roll
- Wipe your butt.
- Remain in the moment and be aware that, aHA! I’ve used the last of the toilet paper. I better change the roll so that the next user will not be inconvenienced.
- Jiggle, flush, and pull up your zipper.
- Reach into the cabinet not more than .378 meters* from where you stand and find a new roll of TP
- Take the empty roll from the hanger and install the new one in its place.
- Do whatever you wish the the old roll – recycle it, use it as fire starter, or just toss it in the waste bucket a mere .498 meters* away. See advanced courses available, below.
- Carry one with your day
- COME BACK HERE! You forgot to flush!
For a visual aid, see the video linked here, from one of my all time favourite TV series, Mad About You.
Advanced students might also wish to learn “How to Restock the Cabinet When You Use the Last of the TP” and “The Perils of Improper Disposal of Empty Rolls”
* For users of alternate units of measure, see this earlier post.
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