The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

I Hate my Vacuum Cleaner

Vacuum_cleaner_1910There, I’ve said it.  For better or worse, now you know TWO closely guarded secrets.  I play too many computer games AND I have a hate-hate relationship with the vacuum cleaner.

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t mind vacuum cleaning. Nothing like the satisfaction of a job well done and all that jazz. (Yeah, yeah… whatever.) But, seriously! I am a fanatic about housework! I don’t mean to brag, but I clean once a MONTH whether it needs it or not.  That’s just the kinda gal that I am.  And if the place is a little fuzzy around the edges, the way it will get when you have a cat, then I just invite company over.  I was speaking about motivation earlier: there’s nothing like the anxiety of other people tripping over the dust bunnies to stir a housekeeper into action.

But the vacuum cleaner itself: it’s a good machine, really.  It is very powerful, and does what I expect it to do.  So what’s the problem, you ask.

I don’t know how it happens, but I get entangled in the dang-blang cords and hoses. It’s heavy and awkward to move around the house. It is a powerful unit because of the motor – a heavy duty, you should excuse the expression, sucker. Can’t have power without the weight. That rationalization does nothing to stop my temper tantrums when the canister collides with the door jamb.  Truly pitiful.  Me, I mean.

Huh. Maybe I was a housemaid in a past life and had the task of cleaning a Edwardian estate. Recently, I watched the entire BBC series The Edwardian Farm. The actors demonstrated the two-person machine illustrated above.  After seeing that baby in action, I realized: maybe I should stop complaining.

 

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Categories: Work, work, work

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20 replies

  1. Well, that was quite the work out in Edwardian days, wasn’t it? I too have a bump-along canister model that I hate, so it’s a good thing that Prince Charming does all of our housework. The cats always scurry away from it, too. Smart kitties. :>

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hello! Lovely that you joined the conversation, thank you! So far we’ve got several things in common, including cats! And a third post script to this post: I woke up this morning to the sound of my hubby vacuuming in the kitchen. I must have missed a spot! 😉

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  2. Hey I’ve just found your blog by following links and ping backs for the Liebster Award and I’m so glad I did. In just reading two posts I’m pleased to find that I am not the only one who is easily addicted to any kind of game (my worst culprits are The Simpsons, The Sims, Candy Crush Saga, and recently Star Wars Tiny Death Star) and finally someone who is honest about their house cleaning schedule! I hate all aspects of cleaning and only do it when the mood takes me, or I can bribe the other half in to doing it for me!
    I can see why you were nominated for the Liebster Award and I’ll definitely be a regular visitor to your blog

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    • Hey Charlottie! I’m pleased to meet you! I haven’t mastered the ping back thing yet. But I’m glad you did! Bribery, eh? Gonna keep that one in mind! Best wishes on your fundraiser, btw. I look forward to updates!

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  3. you know one of the things i love about being ill is not having to do the vaccum 2 step tango! honestly though there’s nothing i love about being ill but i have to grab onto small mercies and blow them up in my mind to be the most wonderful amazing and joyful perks lol!

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    • Yeah, the whole “count your blessings” thing only goes so far, doesn’t it? I’m glad you had a chance to read my post, and thanks for the comment. I hope it brightened your day a tiny little bit.

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  4. Love this post! Have you heard of these vacuums that are built into your floors? I can’t remember the actual name but you basically do not have to lug anything heavy around. You just get to walk into each room and click your lightweight hose into the sunken-in fitted hole in your carpet and “B’bam! You’re suctioning power is on, baby!”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Little Miss – glad you like! Thank you! Ah yes, central vacuum. A technology that has not found its way into my domestic scene. And not likely to. I am, however, intrigued by the vacuum robots. My brother raves about his. I might just borrow his for a day to give her a test sweep! Now, what’s that you were saying about “Books for the Nooks (and Crannies)”? On my reading list for today!

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  6. The video is currently unavailable, but we had a Speed Queen canister when I was a child, and I do not care for the villainous canister bumbling along behind me.
    I have a Dyson. It is my second Dyson. They cost too much money, but considering my last Dyson lasted almost 8 years, he was worth every penny. I spent more pennies on my newer one, and I don’t heart him AS much, but I cannot deny he’s more powerful, so, all’s well that ends well.
    I vacuum several times a week, because I live at the circus and I can’t abide a mess, not that anyone in this circus tent asked me.

    Liked by 2 people

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